My husband and I knew that the puppies would make mistakes, scratch us when they jumped up, bump our heads when they jumped straight up toward our faces, and all the other things giant puppies can do. We made certain choices about how we would use our voices.
An excited (not loud) voice and eye contact for good behavior. We say their name and “yes, good.” They are often more interest in the praise than in treats–which is the goal!
Silence and turning away for jumping up and bad behavior. If we don’t feed their over excitement, then they will try an appropriate behavior we can praise.
No yelling or angry voices for now. If we needed that boundary, we could add it, but the dogs were fearful at times and we didn’t want them to feel a need for bad choices. Sometimes a stern response is warranted–but we wanted to avoid it and a bad behavior from us. Human growling all the time is not good leadership.
No use of the word “No”–for now. It is too easy for people to fall into the trap of saying “No” about everything. That is frustrating and there is a risk the word will lose value. We chose to redirect behavior to a new lesson instead.
Hands are for loving! We need to touch our dogs and this is part of a safe relationship. Both Gabe and Rose have hand shy issues around their head. I need to put leashes on and take them off, look in their mouth, take out any inappropriate items, touch ears. We do exercises of touching and saying “gentle,” hands are for love. We pet with calm and gentle energy.
We don’t know what happened to these dogs before us. There is a trigger for the hunt and for violence that exists in all animals–including humans. We wanted to think about how to avoid the trigger for violent choices. Fear can be a factor. If they have been triggered at some point, we need to not repeat that action–it must not be in the main list of choices they consider. We also don’t want to put them in a situation that would trigger them.
We are not afraid of Gabe and Rose! They are sweet, boisterous, loving, playful, powerful animals. But good dogs need some thought to help them stay good dogs. Our choices influence their choices. Our specific intentional choices can protect them from ever feeling the need to make a bad choice. Voice and language are part of the relationship and how we choose to use the voice is important.
P.S. Yes, we have said “no” sternly a few times in our many months with Gabe and Rose. We aren’t perfect and sometimes a behavior needed a boundary. My long hair tied up on top of my head seems to remind them of puppy ears. Attempts to play with my hair have gotten a “No” with a redirect to “sit” and “go play.” I know I am being invited to play like a puppy and I think that is a terrible idea. A scratch on the arm from jumping up in excitement has gotten a “No.” We recommit to the “yes” behaviors and keep training in the hope that jumping up will extinguish as a behavior. “No” tends to lead to a drop to the ground for both dogs. They then recover and do zoomies in the yard.
The plan is about creating intentional, relationship-building choices.
Paw Prints on My Heart and on My Pants 